‘I’d much rather be a typewriter like you’ said the telephone.
‘Why?’ said the typewriter
‘Because you are bigger than me’ said the telephone, ‘and people write their stories on you’
‘I might be bigger than you, but have you considered; I have people’s fingers thudding down on my keys all day and, for all that, I never get to read or hear any of their stories! But you dear telephone, after they have just swirled your dial round a little, you get to hear all their stories’.
‘Oh yes’ said the telephone, ‘You’re right, I never thought of it like that. I’ve changed my mind, I think I’d prefer to be a telephone after all!’
‘Ok!’said the typewriter.
‘Ok’ echoed the telephone’.
A silly scenario I know, but it makes way for the question:
Have you ever been envious of some-one else's life?
Have you ever had a secret hankering to be like some-one else ~ or even be them?
I have.
I recall, many years ago, hankering to be like a certain woman in our church who was everything I wanted to be (or so I thought).
Have you ever had a secret hankering to be like some-one else ~ or even be them?
I have.
I recall, many years ago, hankering to be like a certain woman in our church who was everything I wanted to be (or so I thought).
From the outside looking in, she had the perfect life; she was a school teacher by profession, stunning to look at, had a handsome husband who ran his own, seemingly, very successful business, two gorgeous children, lived in an elite part of town in a fabulous house filled to capacity with the most exquisite antiques and, parked on the driveway were two top of the range, latest reg, motor vehicles.
But it wasn't necessarily her social status that provoked me to envy (well, okay, a little maybe) it was who she was as a person; funny, clever and articulate, with a perfect 'piano key' smile and a laugh to die for.
She was just one of those people who, when she walked into a room, lit everything up, all eyes were on her, everyone wanting her company.
Her ‘calling’ within the church was to teach, which is what I longed to do, and she did it well, finding favour with all the 'right' people, having every opportunity to regularly use her gifting.
My relationship with her, on the surface at least, was good, but secretly, in the hidden place of my heart, there was constant tension between esteem and envy.
And it was torture.
Although I wanted to be around her, when I was, I felt like the biggest klutz ever to grace the planet.
Compared to her very lithe and athletic physique, I was a podgey little pudding ~ I'd been struggling with my weight for some time, plus, I had a secret bulimic problem.
Compared to her world-travelling exciting marriage, my marriage was a stay-at-home, dull and, well, boring marriage.
Compared to her respectable profession of school teacher, I was working in an intellectually frustrating job at the local village store.
(And I could go on, but I'll spare you any more detail!)
Basically, she was living my best life - my wish-list life ~ that's all there was to it!
And it was all so bittersweet and unfair.
I remember, in my secret misery, I would often wonder (pitifully) why the grass on her side of the fence was greener than mine; why she had the perfectly manicured green lawns and I didn’t; why her vivid green grass didn't have any ugly bald patches dotted all over the place like my straw-like yellowy grass did?
Why, why, why, a thousand times why?
The only thing green in my life was my envy... my deep green envy!
I could have spent years in this restless state had the Lord not taken the blinkers off my covetous eyes... because, it turned out, the reality was ~ her life was nothing like it appeared!
Over time it transpired, her grass was no more green than mine, her lawns no more perfect than mine and, as for the bald patches... she had just as many as I did, if not more!
In fact, sadly, it turned out, her life was one big make-believe; after a dawn raid on their home, her husband ended up being hauled off to jail for cooking the company's books, and their show home was just that ~ for show. None of the exquisite antiques they displayed actually belonged to them, they were all on hire!
My point is: nothing was what it seemed.
Comparison is not based in reality.
And because of that, when we engage in it, it always ~ ALWAYS ~ drains the colour and vibrancy from our own life.
It's non-reality puts us into a suspended state of, what I'm going to call, 'emotional sepia', where the 'bells and whistles' glory of our neighbours grass blinds us to the veritable glory of our own.
And as we hanker and hover... as we keep taking our sneaky peeks at their side of the fence... the richly pigmented detail of our own life becomes pale and wishy washy, so that in the end, the life we have been graced to live becomes diminished in value.
This is comparison.
This is Sepia-itus.
A deadly condition that is compounded by its hiddenness.
No-one really wants to talk about their secret envies and jealousies do they? They'd much rather do what I did - smile sweetly on the outside and suffer the tension on the inside.
As a consequence, this nasty SIN-drome has been spoiling lives, silently and in the shadows, as long as people and community have existed.
A good sign we might be infected with Sepia-itus is when we give up nurturing what is uniquely ours to, instead, covet and replicate what is uniquely someone else’s... you know, when we want to look and sound like them!
So why do we get embroiled in comparison?
The ugly culprit has to be, what I'm going to call inadequacy-preoccupation ~ a preoccupation that bankrolls infatuation, obsession, addiction, and ultimately, enslavement.
So, what is to be done about this SIN-drome?
James Swindoll pointed us in the right direction when he wrote:
“Peter must have thought, “Who am I compared to Mr Faithfulness?” (the apostle John), Jesus clarified the issue; John was responsible for John and Peter was responsible for Peter ~ and each had one command to heed ‘Follow Me’”
In other words:
You look after your own garden Peter, and just follow me, and leave John to do the same!
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Contained in this utter simplicity, is the equally simple remedy for this sickness: turn your eyes upon Jesus!
Looking to Jesus is an inward gaze, and it takes practice ~ and committment to the practice.
Without it ~ without learning how to look, watch and follow ~ we will forever be battling the condition of 'Sepia-itus'.
Oh what a dirge!
Oh what a misery!
Your neighbour's grass is not greener than yours my friend, just different from yours - as it was designed to be, as it should be.
That being the reality then, I suggest that we make a collective effort to stop peering over each others fences and just enjoy the colours in our own garden... enjoy the shades of colour God has landscaped our beautifully unique lives with, while we graciously follow Him!!
